Part 2: In Search of the Stronghold

Monday, November 22, continued – The aircraft made a smooth landing...I remember landings being a bit rougher on the senses when sitting in the belly of the plane in earlier trips. There must be some scientific explanation as to why the impact is less noticeable from the cockpit but let’s just say the closer you are toward the sky the less you have to worry about birds dropping their load on ya’. Of course you have to apply this rule a few degrees diagonally and adjust the height ratio between the cockpit and the lower decks of a Boeing 747 to solve this specific impact-on-landing equation. Speaking of science, I felt a bit warped at that moment, out of place, as though I had traveled through time...not in the ‘DeLorean-Back to the Future’ sense but more in a ‘Boeing-From Amsterdam to LA’ kind of way. It was probably due to the sleep I did not get because of that snoring Sasquatch. One of the monitors indicated it was close to 2 PM local time. Man...that’s 11 PM back in my place and the day has just started over here. For a sec, I swear I could have heard a soft ‘lala-lala’ echoing inside that claustrophobic cockpit. And after me and the crew left the aircraft and dealt with customs and immigration it got worse outside the airport...my eyes stung just looking at the bright blue cloudless skies and my mouth and lips were dry because of the LA air which was not totally dissimilar in low moisture levels to the air in San Rafael, Argentina - the place where me and my brother were born. My body was adjusting and to put it in American Psycho terms: "I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

The first thing on our to-do list was to get a means of transportation. We went to a standard car rental facility called Alamo near the LA airport and got ourselves a four-door silver Chevrolet Cavalier. The vehicle glistened from the sun like a reflection of a single star upon the sea’s surface and it glided on the asphalt waves as though we possessed Poseidon’s own prized chariot...feeling the cool Pacific Ocean breeze on every turn we made and so stylishly passing by the concrete islands of this paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty It was made to smoothly surf this terra firma turf. Cruising in this car was an extraordinary experience, none like I ha- suddenly I heard fingers snap to the left of me: “Hey René! You feelling ok? Come on...get out...we gotta unload the trunk.” Eddy and I had arrived at the flight crew’s designated hotel, the Manhattan Beach Marriott. Whoa, what a trip! – Not to mention a great TV commercial concept for Chevrolet. It was probably not that good of an idea to mix the jus d’orange with the mousse au chocolat...better avoid the crazy chic French cocktails next time I fly.

After the common check-in process at the hotel’s reception we headed to toward our rooms. The beds there were just calling out to me and I was ready to plunge into slumber. “That way you are never going to adapt”, Eddy warned me. “But it’s way past bed time back in Hollland!”, I replied on sleep’s edge. “Nah nah, don’t think that way. If you want to sleep in this town you have to survive the day first. Come on...get ready...I talked to the captain and one of the animal attendants...we’re heading to Santa Monica soon to check out some sites.” I did not question his expertise on the matter and before long we were on our way.

Driving the jam-packed 405, our shining sedan lost its gleam with some convertibles, roadsters and an occasional limousine riding around...it seemed as if even the 'star surfers' wanted a piece of the action and hit up the 'waves' that day. Near 5 PM, the sun was setting and we could see the LA skyline lighting up like beacons from a shipyard signaling us to dock and have some quality R ‘n R. The skies were dark when we ‘docked’ our cruiser in a shopping center near the famous Santa Monica pier. After walking around and visiting some locales there we started to feel the well-known rumbling again...food break! It so happened that we passed a Hooters establishment a while ago...I had never been there so I suggested it to my fellow amigos. The male vote was definitely dominant in this election. Thus we entered...

Rock ‘n Roll pumped out of a golden jukebox and different sports channels were shown on various big screen TVs on the walls of a brilliantly lit room where good looking cheerleader-esque waitresses in tight orange shorts and white tops held platters instead of pom-poms and served a mostly male ‘audience’. Man...let me tell ya...that sight sure killed all my semi-insomnious behavior. The room was like a bloated bright interior of a Boeing 747 with better music, more monitors, tastier looking food and...an all female flight attendant crew. Hmm...now I see why my suggestion was such a success among my aviator friends. One of the tables at the center of the room beckoned us to take a seat - a thorough examination can only be accomplished when you are in the middle of things – so we proceeded. After a while one of the girls took heed: “Hi, welcome to Hooters! What will it be for you guys tonight?” Come to think of it, that was indeed a very good question because to tell you the truth, other things besides the menu had attracted our gaze. Our hurried selection truly represented this situation...my associates all chose to have a Hooters Burger while I was going for a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. “Coming right up, guys!” she answered with sweet swiftness.

After some more gazing I thought it would be pretty ‘Hooterific’ to take a picture with a few of these girls to share with all of you. Sh*t! - I left the camera back at the hotel...sigh. The let down grew only stronger when the food was delivered to our table. On closer inspection the density of my sandwich was disappointingly small when comparing it to the over-sized burgers...it needs more meat! “Que ‘más carne’? No más carne! Aci viene el sandwich, mang!” Well well, look who popped out of the picture. You’re one point behind and you let your buddy Manny do the dirty work, huh Tony? “Eh...I didn’t come to United States to break my frigging back, mang!” Hmm...1 point for Tony for his efficient management and contact skills. Damnit! A ‘Bunny Chicken Sandwich’ trying to silence the beast that is my bowel, no pin-up material to show off and ‘Teamo Cubano’ here advancing in the race...things did not look pretty. The time had come for Eddy and myself to execute the second task on our to-do list: seek out the Sons of the Storm in their stronghold. But not without a good night’s rest is one able to start on such a quest...so back it was to the Marriott to finally catch some Zs...

Tuesday, November 23 – I woke up about 7 hours later and so did Eddy. Before my trip to hither, I received inside information about a raiding party being formed under the command of the Sons of the Storm which probably ended about 3 hours ago. They had scheduled to assault a local ‘electrotechnic’ center near their stronghold. I had a hunch we would get more info there about their current whereabouts. So we charged forth in our Cavalier. Once there our eyes met with an almost deserted store. Boxes of all shapes and sizes and shopping carts were lying around. Brutal! And an odd somewhat transfixed employee was standing there. “Hi...We’re here for the Sons of the Storm”, I spoke cautiously. He answered in an almost mumbling becharmed way: “Hundreds...thousands...they tore this place apart.” “Uh yes...do you know where they are, where they came from?” I asked him. He outstretched his right arm in slow-motion pointing in the wasteland space in front of him: “Follow the highway...cross the river...pass the hills...” Eddy and I were bewildered: “Hmm...well...thank you. By the way...uhm...shouldn’t you be working?” “Yes...I think so,” he responded still standing and staring into nothingness. Freaky! We carried on, as the employee had directed us...following the highway, crossing the river, passing the hills…until finally we arrived at a parking lot near a massive gate. We proceeded with bold faith...

The white walls of the stronghold’s entrance featured banners - some roughly torn, others stained with blood that clashed with ornamental weaponry like a gathering of positively and negatively charged electrons in a thunderstorm ready to be unleashed. Not far from the main gates was a woman standing guard. We walked toward her and I noticed that she looked amazing! Why is she working with the Sons of the Storm while she can easily forge an alliance with the Daughters of Hooters? I kept that thought to myself because I didn’t know if she would take that question as a compliment or be offended and slap my face (after clubbing me to death and ripping my guts out). “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” Yup...1 point for Tony the player for having such a strategic way with the ladies. “Greetings, I am the Gatekeeper”, she spoke once we approached her. “Well...I am not the Keymaster if that’s what you’re gonna’ ask”, I replied with a grin on my face - She didn’t seem to understand the humor. I continued: “Uh...I am René of Twincruiser, this is my friend Eddy. I have traveled from far and wide to seek out Samwise the Panda King...I have a meeting with him.” “You just missed him...he’s out for his midday meal,” she said. “Oh...I guess we’ll go eat as well and return in a few...does that sound agreeable?” She gave a reply of affirmation: “Understood, I will notify him on your arrival when he gets back.”

Eddy and I went to lunch at a local burger joint called Carl’s Junior...they served some big burgers over there, nothing compared to yesterday’s personal fast food fiasco. Satisfied, we returned to the stronghold and approached the Gatekeeper once again. She saluted us with a smile: “Hail friend! He has returned...I will summon him immediately.” In a matter seconds, as though conjured up by some spell like an enormous black and white rabbit out of an even bigger hat, the Panda King appeared in full red battle armor. He had a long immense mane that looked like as if it could slice off a head with a single swing. He spoke in a clear voice, not one which you would expect after a raid and combat: “Finally my friends, you are here!” We all embraced - in a tough warrior way of course. “How was your journey? Come, we will talk about it in the upper sector of the stronghold.” In a blink of an eye we were transported to another realm. Flashes of images and streams of utterances entered my mind: “Sons, Keeper of the Storm!” ... ”Assault successful” ...”Worker bees left hive” ...“Thundergod debilitated, Mickelob resting”...“Twincruiser's gift” ...“Thammer, BergerKing, Ninja, WarBlade” ...“Scarface on wall”...“King of Clubs” ...”Tomorrow off, portal open”. All I remember in detail was a vehicle as red as the Panda King’s armor, a Toyata Tacoma. Built for four but room for so much more, this mini megaton truck had the potential to rampage the roads and wreck the highways…a small moving mountain imbued by Ho-Masubi himself with a blazing hot core ready to ignite. Just by thinking of riding in this contraption of mechanic nature I could feel its feral power - Get ready cause here I come...on my way like lava on wheels, engulfing when it's actually already too late! Never had I seen su - all of a sudden I felt a touch on my shoulder: “See ya tomorrow, ok?” It was Sam, he looked different...his red gear was gone but his manes still looked like they could kill and to my surprise Eddy and I were back at the parking lot near the gate. “Uh...yeah...sure,” I answered with a puzzled look that would make a chimp seem like the next Einstein. It was 4 PM and we were on our way back to the hotel.

What in f*#king Freud’s name had just happened here!? To put my mind a bit more at ease and save the last specks of my saneness I did not answer that question. Instead, Eddy and I went to see The Incredibles that night. Oh man what a show! I absolutely loved everything about it and just to show how much I admire this movie, I’ve decided to communicate my thoughts about it in haiku style. Here goes:

In honor of this review I’ve made a little section called Movie Haiku which is of course dedicated to some of my fav flicks but summarized with the help of haiku. And to go to another form of summary, here are the 'Scarfaced' scores for the day: 1 point pour moi for finding the stronghold which results in a tie in the current game. Both me and Tony have 5 points now and are on grounds where anything is possible but only one thing is apparently clear: we are both getting high on some kind of supply…

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